DESPAIRING Cheryl Cole is convinced she'll end up on the SHELF if she divorces cheat Ashley.
Despite being one of Britain's most fancied women, the 26-year-old X Factor judge reckons she'll NEVER find love again - and may not have the FOUR children she yearns for.
"It's mad, but she feels washed up at 26," a close friend of the Girls Aloud star revealed last night.
"Cheryl has convinced herself she's not going to find another man. It's consuming her at the moment - and it's one of the reasons why she hasn't decided she'll definitely divorce Ashley.
"She wants love in her life, but she feels there's so much pressure on her and worries about how she could ever go on a date with someone else."
While Chelsea star Ashley was surrounded by girls as he went clubbing last week for the first time since the split, Cheryl is holding back when it comes to dating again. Her pal said she has been desperate to go out partying with potential love interests - dancer Derek Hough and Black Eyed Peas star Will.I.Am - while recording in LA but has resisted the temptation.
"She doesn't want Ashley to think she's playing games because she's made it clear she's not ready to even think about moving on," said the friend.
"But it's a shame because she loves spending time with Derek and Will, and needs to be able find her feet as a single girl. Derek and Will are both desperate to take her on dates but she feels she has to lock herself indoors.
"It's so unfair. Cheryl's done nothing wrong but Ashley goes out and is surrounded by a big group of girls while he laps up all the attention."
Cocky Ashley arrrived to watch Chelsea's 2-1 win at Old Trafford yesterday carrying a Paul Simon curtains bag - which sums up the state of his marriage, because Cheryl is still intent on leaving him for good.
"She understands things have fundamentally changed between them," says the friend.
Cheryl has been getting through the last month by focusing on planning her future family.
Our source said: "It may seem strange because right now she knows she's not going to get pregnant, but she's determined she's going to have four kids. She comes from a big family and wants the same thing.
"She always imagined Ashley would make a great dad - and it's hard coming to terms with the fact he's unlikely to be the father of her babies."
Rift Nad any better
THE bust-up between Cheryl Cole and Girls Aloud bandmate Nadine Coyle has deepened after Nadine failed to contact her heartbroken pal this week - despite them being only a few miles apart in LA.
An insider said: "Nadine has said Cheryl's schedule has been getting in the way of them meeting up - but that doesn't ring true." Cheryl has been getting support from other bandmates Nicola Roberts, Kimberley Walsh and Sarah Harding.
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