Regardless of what My Results Are

I will never be your Second Best that you come running to after your life falls apart and things don't work out.

I deserve a lot better than to be the Backup option.

I am thinking how lucky some must feel who get to speak, be seen & heard, & be validated.

There's nothing wrong indulging in fantasy if reality offers nothing but isolation and rejection.

The Rejection will fade but the thoughts of what could have been never will. Wonder what hurts more, the fear of rejection or the rejection itself. Or you are the one who atually lose out?

The rest of us will always be wrong, unimportant, & invisible!

I want to speak up and say what I really want. Don't let rejection scare myself.

I am unable to enjoy and embrace feeling rejected.

To myself:

I am a weapon of massive consumption and it's not my fault it's how I'm program to function.
I'll look at the sun and I'll look in the mirror, I'm on the right track yeah I'm on to a winner

I don't know what's right and what's real anymore, I don't know how I'm meant to feel anymore When we think it will all become clear 'Cuz I'm being taken over by the fear.


Forget about guns and forget ammunition Cause I'm killing them all on my own little mission. Now I'm not a saint but I'm not a sinner.
I gotta find my place and cope with all the pain in front of me, even if this world wants to throw me off the edge.

You've been blessed with so many wonderful gifts. and the best of all is, the towering spirit you always share with others around you.

I've been meaning to tell you that you've the ability to see with your eyes closed. Your majestic introspections are boundless and you never believe the improbable. what do you expect?! how can I not look up to you? :)


Notwithstanding this is not what I was hoping for, I strongly believe that God is fair - He knows what's best for us. So yeah, Imma stop whingeing and move forward with no regrets - open new doors, have faith and believe in myself.

Dear MN, will you welcome me with open arms when I get there?


PS: One day I'll make you proud, I promise.