addicted to the pain

A hug is two hearts wrapped in arms, A hug is the shortest distance between friends.
If you're angry at a loved one, hug that person. And mean it. You may not want to hug - which is all the more reason to do so. It's hard to stay angry when someone shows they love you, and that's precisely what happens when we hug each other.

Millions and millions of years would still not give me half enough time to describe that tiny instant of all eternity when you put your arms around me and I put my arms around you.


Love me when I least deserve it because that is when I really need it.

Don't give your mind permission to get disturbed. A disturbed mind is easily influenced. This will cost you your peace. Learn to maintain your peace by freeing yourself from attachments. Competing or comparing yourself with others will not allow you to focus inwards. An inner focus allows you to keep your eye on your higher self. Remember your original nature. It allows you to forge a link with the Divine. Then it becomes easy to recognise useless thoughts and replace them with a spiritual perspective. A calm mind is not just peaceful, it is focused, self-directing and Divine.

In love relationships there is a fine line between pleasure and pain. In fact, it is a common belief that a relationship without pain is a relationship not worth having.
To some pain implies growth but how do we know when the growing pains stop and the pain pains take over?

Are we masochist or optimist if we continue to walk that fine line? When it comes to relationships how do you know when enough is enough?

We have seen each other three or four times a week since we could. We send each other mixed signals.

Why do I keep doing this to myself? I must be a masochist or something.

Why is it so hard for [us] to factor us into [our] life in any real way?

We are actually having real conversations. We are finally getting to know each other. Something that should have happened four months ago. It is like we are developing a friendship. Minus the fact that he is a douche whenever we are not hanging out and the physical part of our relationship. Yes, we are still very physical. That’s probably the hardest part to give up. In a place where I feel all alone being in your arms makes this place less lonely.

After we made love I new it was over. Did I ever really love you or was I addicted to the pain, the exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable?

I drove home on a complete high from the past 12+ hours. I was sad our Valentines weekend was cut short because of a special situation. Now I’m at home and questioning everything.

On the way home I was furious. Not with you, with myself. I was the real sadist. You might be the one with the whip but I was the one who tied myself up. Tied myself to a person who was terrified of being tied down.

I can not have my feelings dependent on someone who is so hot and cold with me.

When I am lacking any real connections with people here its not so easy to give one up even if it is unhealthy.

To all my friends:

I’m in the middle of this and I can’t, I can’t see. So I need you to yank me out of it. You have to say stuff, to yank me out of it.

I know what I’m doing to myself. I’m not an idiot. I’m just an idiot for continuing to do this. I’m just not sure what else to do.

I wanted to go to you but I felt like I was tied to the chair. Some part of me was holding me back, knowing I had gone too far, reached my limit. And just like that I had untied myself from you. I was free, but there was nothing exquisite about it.
Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop figuring out precisely how we feel, stop deciding exactly what we want, and just see what happens.